the-absolute-funniest-posts:

leiahime:

this still will never not describe me

budotty:

robotbekah:

royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

We had a kid in High School who pretended to be Russian, too.

reblogmyselfie:

jehanferres:

reblogmyselfie:

lokirox1234:

slenclerkush:

reblogmyselfie:

reblogmyselfie:

my nephew was singing thrift shop and instead of saying cock he says clock

walk up in the club like waddup i gotta big clock

i think you meant… whaddup i got a big ben :D

no that is not what i meant at all

not least because that is the great clock of westminster

yeah its called big ben

awesomephilia:

My life since joining tumblr

homwrecker:

when girls sneeze their vaginas clench up so now every time a girl sneezes im like i know what ur vagina just did

carry-on-my-wayward-castiel:

c00kiedough:

sleeping in an oversized hoodie seems like a good idea until its 2am and it feels like you’re taking a bath with satan

foreveralone-lyguy:

Are you html code? Because I’d like to put you on top of my </body>

epic-humor:

kankrivantas:

do you ever think really awful thoughts and suddenly become aware that you are not a good person

see more

fractiousdebutante:

your blog is basically what your bedroom wall would be if no one cared

oomshi:

cayleeanthonysmom:

oomshi:

My life goal is to have enough $100 bills that fill a bathtub & I want to bathe in my glory & success

my life goal is to sneeze with out farting

I think we’re on two different paths in life

my favorite thing about european history is that henry viii started his own religion just so he could divorce his wife

jellyfishes:

beluga whales are so fuckin cute they’re always happy and smiling like

helooooo!!

HIIIIIIIIII !!!!

hey friend !

looook they are FRIENDS!!!!!

they are growing old together still smiling i am gonna crY